Follow This 4-Step Process Daily To Prevent The Fear of Dependence From Derailing Your Leadership Ability.
Step 1: Acknowledge the Fear
- Recognize and accept you hold a fear of dependence that will always be with you. Embrace the self-awareness that allows you to regulate this.
- Fear of dependence is like wearing a mask. To overcome it, you must first admit that the bravado that has you claim you do not need help is tied to the fear that people’s help will fail you.
- Example: A Red avoids delegating tasks, fearing they will have to rely on others and lose control.
Emotional Push-Up:
- Spend five minutes each day reflecting on moments when you successfully relied on others. What was true about those people / situations? How can you help others be more like this?
Step 2. Identify Triggers and Reactions
- Pinpoint situations and responses linked to the fear of dependence so that you may begin to see patterns and trends emerging.
- Think of identifying triggers like finding the weak links in a chain. Knowing where they are helps you strengthen them - the stronger the chain, the less you will fear needing to depend on it as it will not let you down when you need it.
- Example: Realizing that you feel anxious during collaborative projects or when asking for help - enough that it cons you into overworking yourself.
Emotional Push-Up:
- Identify one thing each day that you could hand off to someone and do it without overthinking it. The item you hand off is immaterial. It’s the habit of doing the handing off that matters.
Step 3. Develop Coping Strategies
- Create actionable plans to manage fear triggers so that you feel in control as mush as possible.
- Developing coping strategies is like building a bridge. Each strategy helps you cross over to confidence in others, which helps you distribute trust as a leader.
- Example: Creating a plan for GRADUALLY delegating tasks to trusted team members to build confidence is an effective way of building this new skill without harming yourself.
Emotional Push-Up:
- Practice one new coping strategy each day, like delegating a small task or asking for help. Mis them up and carry them like sets and reps in a workout.
Step 4. Practice and Reflect
- Apply strategies, then reflect on outcomes and adjust as needed. This is a natural strength for you as a Red so use it to your advantage.
- Practice and reflection are like sharpening a tool. Continuous effort keeps it effective. Doing this with your best people becomes “steel sharpening steel”.
- Example: After a collaborative project, reflect on how you handled your anxiety regarding help and delegation and what you could improve next time. Focus in incremental change over time for the best results.
Emotional Push-Up:
- Spend five minutes each evening reflecting on the most challenging thing you did. How COULD you have involved someone in that - making it easier to delegate and ask for help over time?